Monday, April 18, 2016

Embrace the Pain. Enjoy the Silence

PS. To my blog readers/visitors, I apologize if some of my blog posts (recently) are somewhat contradicting to my blog theme- which is radiating happiness and enjoyment. Sometimes we go through some of the valleys in our lives that we're left with no one to talk to but with our dearest loyal blog. (So please bare with me).

Why is it so hard to express thy feelings? Many people are having a hard time expressing their true feelings. Just like me,  I used to be a melancholic and an introvert- keeping self-thought and ideals private as much as I can. That is why expressing my real feelings is so hard to do. Knowing the real feelings I have inside is like digging up gold mine. You have to earn my trust before I could give you full details of my thought. Anyway, who cares about my thoughts? People now days are very selfish that they're too concern of their feelings and forget to check out on others, like saying "hey are you ok?" The sad truth is, only few/ or none who possessed it. Yep, it's a sad truth. I'm not a pessimist but I used to think that way. "The least you expect it, the least hurt you could receive". Expecting from someone is  really hard to do.

So, here I am sharing my thoughts into a small box trying to compose some thoughts. And sometimes, my mind is battling whether to click the publish or save button in the upper right side of the screen. Whatever it is, it's good to express ones ideas and feelings Sometimes, we make ourselves busy so we could hide feelings, but honestly we counldn't hide the loneliness a person could feel. All of us has been through many valleys, hardships, trials but the most  deadly of all is loneliness. It kills the very you! This is where temptation comes- because we are sooO weak and lonely.

"You are victim of your mind". 
Which is very true to us. We are what we think to be. The pain of loneliness could really pierce the heart, but it all starts in the mind triggered with negative thoughts. Be not the victim of your own mind, it's deadly. Before it's too late, before the anger and pride eat up your good character, fight it! Be guarded with God's word and your principles. We have to learn the hard way. Life is tough and problems comes along the way. Embrace the pain and enjoy the silence. Embrace it but, don't get too lost in your emotions. Trials do come and loneliness pours. Problems and loneliness passes by but don't you dare to make a room for it. It's allowed to pass, but to let it reside in your  thoughts? It's a big no! no!

Enjoy the silence. Through silences, it will taught us to re-shape our focus. Choose what motivates you- to see what is important.-To trust God. No matter what. Sometimes, what we think is important now is definitely not filling whatever void you might [think you] have. Only God can fill up that void within us. What matters now is that you understand what it means to REMAIN IN HIM, gaze at Him and be content in Him. I pray that whatever kind of "loneliness" you're/ we're going through today, I hope that you/ we may find REST and  find the One who can give it to you. It's JESUS!
My dear friend,
Hang on there!! He said, He will never leave you nor forsake you.
PS: Through this way (writing), I can express how I felt and be encouraged in it ;)

Monday, April 04, 2016

Seasonal Activities to Remember

Lately, I've posted a blog regarding my summer experience at the beach. It is very overwhelming. I got a perfect time to enjoy and relax for awhile. I've been dreaming for a day to go out  and go to the beach to relax. The feel of sand and salty water flowing through my feet is tranquil. I feel the calmness inside me.

But long summer heat  burns me out. Summer started too early that I could no longer see green grasses. All were dried. Plants in our school could hardly survive. I don't love it anymore. People prefer to be at home than to be burn under the heat of the sun. No more rain :( and it frustrates me (since I'm a pluviophile). I love summer outing with friends and family but, my melancholic side of me demands rain ( and hope to experience winter). I started to miss my "home alone day"/ my "me time". Summer outing is exciting but rainy season and winter season is more interesting. I wish to experience winter and feel comforted with Cozy Winters. I always dream to experience winter. To stay at home, read my favorite book, observe snowflakes falling on the rooftop and feel the heat of the fire in the fireplace- what a wonderful feeling. For me, winter was made for large blankets and large books. For an introvert like me, it is so wonderful feeling to feel the cold wind as you soround yourself with cozy winter clothes.

Winter season really excites me. I cannot imagine how people survives in a big and cold freezer. But thank God for cozy winters. That really help- big help!

Whatever season it is- any of the four seasons- I find it very magical. It is really magic seeing trees fall leaves, grass withers,  flowers blossoms and spring bring new life.This all I wish in life- to witness to witness the transition of these seasons right in front of me.

Keep going everyone. Enjoy every season of your life!

My Kinda Start of Summer

It's so good to feel the summer breeze. That feeling to be at the beach is so overwhelming.  I can't express how I felt- the feel of sand and salt water flowing through your feet, the smell of the salty air and the relaxing sound of the waves simply gives me the feeling of tranquility.
I am melancholic, loner and introvert person and being far away from the crowd, busy streets and people is like a safe haven for me. I feel the calmness and peacefulness inside me- which I craved for a long time.

We had a great time with my Grade 10 students. We were there at the beach to celebrate because finally their moving up to Senior High. It is very unforgettable for me because we got the chance to bond together- with my co-teachers and students. That was an overnight activity. We had fun games, retreat activities and an overnight film showing. I guess, this is good for all of us- to give ourselves a break. To spend quality time at the beach ;)

Everything happened for a reason. I thank God for that outing ( aside from our safe trip going there) I got the chance to reflect on myself. I got the chance to have a peacefulmind and get rid of depression. It's good that I'm quite back on track. I hope this will be the start.

In everything I give thanks to God. It's not easy handling problems. Everything tat I'v been going through will just come to pass. All I need is to trust on yourself and believe that greater things are coming.
Thanks to the beach oting. I really had fun. Till next time friends. I hope you too enjoyed your summer. Enjoy your summer vacay! God bless.
That summer heat feels.. Cheers!

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Midnight Soundtrack is Good for the Soul

 Thank God, I got the chance to blog again, since it's a long weekend and it's a holy week.
While blogging, I'm also enjoying my night music sound trip. It is very motivational and therapeutic. Listening to the music every  night could ease the feeling of sadness, loneliness, but many times it triggers the feelings. Whatever it is, I just love the feeling listening to the sound of music.Music helps us reminisce some great memories that fades away. The lyrics of the songs could penetrate the deepest portion of your heart.

One day, I dreamed to play one musical instrument. I just love the feeling to play an instrument. Forget the people around and simply lost in playing the song. If I could really master the piano or keyboard that would be very fantastic. I would probably bring it where ever I go. With the help of miko case, I could play everywhere. It would be very convenient for me to carry. Oh, I hope somebody could teach me how to play at least one musical instrument.

I am just amazed how music could really penetrate your soul- it's either pierce you, break you or complete you. One song can change you, or change ones' perspective. You just choose what it could bring you- happiness or loneliness. After all, music is made lighten up or soul and bring inspiration to many. Though I couldn't sing that well, but I'm always be a music lover.
Enjoy your holy week.
God bless everyone. Keep going.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Constant Pursuit of God... Hope for the Unhappy Christian

I never felt so alone in my entire life- just now. I felt so scared and doubtful. Maybe it's because of the sins that I've been committing and the my act stubbornness towards people and towards God  keep me away from Him. I can't help myself but to cry out to God for mercy. I'm praying that the God of Heavens sees me and rescue me from this brokenness and emptiness that I felt inside. This turmoil inside me is what keeps me from being miserable and keep me away from God.

The struggle inside me is what makes me fighting. Fighting the spiritual battle. Fighting against the enemies realms.  This time, I wanna make right with God. This is the prayer of my soul. For God to intervene... because honestly, I cannot fight and win this battle. Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Our discontentment leads to wishful but hopeless (and sometimes suicidal) thinking. But know that God is continually pursuing us. He won't give up on us. Our only hope of curing this discontentment and unhappiness is learning the art of contentment and embracing a biblical view of God. Those two things are essential for our joy.
I have a lot of things to say but my words is not enough to contain the weighs of my heart.
Just continue to believe and pray. God is with us to fight this internal battle. Trust in Him.
Keep going everyone. God bless. :)

Thursday, March 03, 2016

Foodie Buddy

Do you find comfort in food?
Well, food is the most primitive form of comfort for many people.
Sometimes, when we are broken hearted and depressed we can find comfort in the food that we eat. I am not a fan of eating. I don't eat a lot. I always go in a restaurant because of its ambiance. But when I'm alone, food is the best buddy I can have. They are like bestfriends to me. The best part when I'm stressed is that I walked and wander around the city and when I get tired, I eat. I'm a typical loner who loves to eat by myself, but feels scared to eat in restaurant especially if it's my first time there.

I thank God for restaurants. I thank them for inventing food. Yes, it's pathetic  to"eat and cry" at the same time but I've tried it many times. While many really wants to find someone they can talk to when their sad and lonely, but me? I prefer to be alone and eat. Being silent and savouring the  food that I prefer to eat alone is one of the best feeling ever (even though it tastes bitter many times). For me, it's one of my stress reliever.

Though eating alone is usually my habit, but I don't want that it will come a time that I will be used to it. I just wish that someday, there will be someone who will care to invite me for a meal and just simply listen to me... maybe a friend or a lover (lol). Whoever she/he is, I will be thankful to her/him because I will no longer rely in my "food buddy" but to my "foodie buddy".

all kind of pasta is the best for me, but this one is exceptional

one of the best tuna sandwich I've ever tasted

I love the feeling when I savor these *one of my favorite foods*. They're the best!!! I love to comeback in this restaurant. I can't recall the name, but one day I'll come back here with a friend or a lover (hihihi)!


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