Wednesday, December 13, 2017

To The One That Got Away

I miss someone who isn't mine to miss. I dream about someone who isn't mine to dream about. I love someone who isn't mine to love. He's too far from me now. I was never been a part of his life, nor in his plans and dreams. I was never in his mind or in his heart. It breaks my heart because I can't even express my love for him. I can't even say he is the one that I LOVE. I want to take good care of him, love him and live the rest of my life with him. He is always been in the heart of my prayers, praying to  God to make his dream come true. I want him to be happy in his life and be the man he wants to be. I want him to live the dream- even if I'm not part of it. After all, true love is not selfish. It is about being happy for someone's happiness.



"Unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to the secret place where it  hides, curled and wounded." -Elle Newmark

So I wrote a letter for you as part of the process of healing and this will be my last...

To the one that got away,

I never thought that I will fall for you. We were ones friends, then best friends... but I was caught off guard. Yeah, I fell. You cared so much to me, the caress that I got from you is what I always value, but I never thought it was never been true. Now, I was left wounded and shattered. You didn't do anything wrong... it's just me who loves you all along. How can I get back from this sudden fall? I was left puzzled and hopeless. Puzzled, thinking what if you love me too. Hopeless, because I know you never do. You were once the cause of my happiness, but it turned out the cause of emptiness, loneliness and brokenness. How can I stand from this fall?  Why am I afraid to loose you... when you're not even mine? Your departure just caused me deep sorrow. Since the day you left, I've been missing you so badly, almost everyday.

Many years had passed, the scars and wounds never leave. It was just being suppressed without being noticed. I loose faith in love and turned out to be fearful in love. I started to loose my hope. It's not your fault, it's me who fall after all. But this notion should come to an end. I shouldn't wallow on the sadness and brokenness. God has many plans in my life. God installed good things to me, waiting to be unfold.
I swear this will be my last letter for you. I'm writing this to you to be healed. This healing of wounds is not easy, it's tough, but it is the right thing to do. All I want is these wounds to be gone.

So, I'm letting you go. 
I forgave you.
I understand.
I know, we were not meant to be. 
God wants to heal me, but first I should let you go. I will let you go.
Letting you go doesn't mean I'll stop praying for you. I'll still be praying  for your happiness and success. Letting you go doesn't mean I'll forget you, it means I'm already giving up the idea that we will be together forever.

So I'll go now. I believe there is someone out there who is waiting for me in the future and the same with you too. I know my God prepared something beautiful for us separately. I'll start to live  life again without you. Now it's time for you to go and leave- to lave my mind and heart. So, farewell to you my love. I should start walking without you. Let's walk our separate ways without looking back. But I never wish that we'll be strangers again, after all... I never regret loving you.

Goodbye my love. And when we meet again, I'll hug you tight and say thank you, because you taught me how to love unselfishly and love unconditionally. You taught me how to forgive and to let go.
And when that day comes, probably all my questions about "Why?" were answered.

Wishing you the best. Thank you my friend :)
Good Bye.

Love,
Ling








The Pessimist Optimist

Everything that we go through in life is just a part of the process, it's part of God's plan. Sometimes we think that life is so unfair, life is so cruel and some things don't happen just the way we want it. Hold on... we'll go through it. Everything will be unfolded in the right time, just the way God wants it and it will be beautiful. Wait, God's in the process of molding us, making us into a better person.

I would say I'm a pessimist in some way. I always think that I can't do it and I will never make it. I have certain things and plans that I want to do in my life, but at the back of my mind... it will fail- I'll never make it. I hate myself for being this way. God has many good things and promises, but believing and holding on to it is such a hard thing to do. I always search for proof and evidences before I believe. I still need someone to push me forward for me to do it. I have no enough agility to stand up and do it. But God who is so gracious, keeps on reminding me that He is there for me. He wants me to do things for His glory. He wants me to do it with Him. As He promised, all things works together for good for those who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.

God wants me to be an optimist. Everyday is a battle, is either we hold on or give up and let go. It is about us to stay positive even things around you is failing. The inner pessimist me comes out when storm comes, but God who is forever gracious remind me that we are made to be an optimist. We can do it, as long as God is on our side.

Have a blessed day. Keep going and God bless.


Saturday, July 15, 2017

In Due Time

The eyes of all look to You,  and You give them their food in due time.
                                                                                   -Psalm 145:15
I m currently reading on this book God's Whispers to a Woman's Heart. And I find it very helpful to inspire my inner soul. I'm recommending this book to you . I love it and it helps me to stay in tune with God. Deep inside our soul, we want to hear God's whisper. This is what our hear needs.

Here's a glimpse of that book. Quoted from that book.

"My child, I know that you look around you and you see so many who seem to have so much more than you. But look closely, do they have Me? Let me change you heart and perspective so that you will gladly live with a little and honor Me rather that choose to have plenty and disregard Me. Trust that I will life you up is due time. Walk closely next to Me. My child, during these days that seem unfair, so that you will see me in your circumstances and grow in unwavering trust. As you do it, it pleases Me to pour out out blessings to you... in due time."

I find it very helpful to walk in my day to day life. I recommend this book "God's Whispers to a Woman's Heart" by Cindi McMenamin. Find time to read books that will uplift your faith and nourishes your soul. Keep going everyone.



Thursday, June 01, 2017

A Letter for Papa: Advance Happy Father's Day 2017

Pa,
   
    I've seen how God works through you. You stood up straight and strong through out our journey. God has given you extra strength to endure all the problems we had. Though, I cannot fathom how God works in our lives (during the time I was tested), but I believe that God used you mightily to serve as the strength in our family. You didn't give up and you didn't loose hope. At times that I don't understand the things that is going on inside me, bu you stood still, prayed and intercede . You make things clear to me when things seems so confusing. I thank the Lord because He used you as a father to this family.

   Now, we are victorious in the Lord. God has given us victory and I am much more victorious because I am blessed with two Fathers- my Father in heaven and my father here on earth.

   Thank you God for such a gift.
                                                                                                                                    Love,
                                                                                                                                     Ling <3



You might ask an wonder about the things I've written... this is the letter I wrote for my dad after some problems and obstacles happened in our family lately. And I am blessed to have a dad like him.

Advance HAPPY FATHERS DAY papa and all the fathers in the world.



Wednesday, April 26, 2017

A Love for Music for a Stress-Free Day

This past few days was the greatest challenge of my life. I was hospitalized for almost two and a half weeks. I was diagnosed with amoeba and my doctor said I was stressed in my work. The doctor recommend to have enough rest and sleep. I thanks God for my fast recovery. I am out in the hospital and taking my medications and taking enough rest. It also lessen my stress and sickness whenever I listen to inspirational and praise music. My younger sister usually play guitar at home, and it really helps me relax. It soothes my feeling. I got the feeling of tranquility. Good thing there is a site like https://www.guitarcenter.com where you can find great quality guitars. You make your purchase online and get rid of stresses. From then one, I'm going to practice a healthy lifestyle.

Keep going everyone. Have a stress-free day.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Movie Review: Trolls

It's been  a long time since I made my last movie review here in my blog. So what makes me write again in my blog about movies? Well certainly because I fell in love to this movie. Especially the plot of the story and the soundtrack. Any kids born in the 90's well surely appreciate this movie. The soundtrack of the movie is very nostalgic. If you are a Justine Timberlake fan, the more you will fall in love with his voice and if you're not, surely you will be after you watch the movie.

Forget about the soundtrack, let's go on  purely a review on the plot. I'm a fan of animated movies, I'm not being biased, but this one is one of my top of the list. I love the message of the story. "No Trolls left behind", and "Happiness is inside of all of us, sometimes we just need someone to help you find it". It speaks about finding real happiness and camaraderie. It talks about friendship and love. It also shows how happiness can soften people's heart or the opposite, how sadness and aloofness could  hardened ones heart. We can learn a lot of life lesson in the movie. The story of the prince and chamber maid also touches me. If you love someone, don't pretend to someone else just to make that person love you. Don't be afraid of who you really are. The person who loves you, will accept who you are after knowing all your lapses and flaws. Don't be afraid, just let them show... your true colors. Your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow. Heheh

This is the movie for the whole family, young and old. We can surely relate to the movie, to the music and to characters they portray. This is a movie fun and exciting, plus the comedy in it. You'll surely enjoy it. I'll give this movie a two-thumbs up! Keep going everyone. God bless.

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